Sim City and Why I Hate You (statistically speaking)

The EA campus.

TLDR note: Skip to the kitten if you don't want to hear my rant about Wal-Mart (it does relate, but I'm not offended).

I'm not entirely sure what to start with here, but I just had to sit through my second-to-last class of my super-senior undergraduate semester (a group presentation btw) while my mind wandered about how ridiculous large corporations are.

Now, before you get all judgmental about the cliche-ness of that last statement, I'd like the opportunity to explain what the hell I'm talking about.

I guess you could blame Michael Moore, sort of, for getting me on this tangent.

It all started yesterday when I was at work. You know, where I should have been doing work. Well I was sort of, but I also was watching Bowling for Columbine on my iPhone (because Netflix is really all you need when it comes to film and TV .... well, that and a good private tracker — still waiting, Ben). Anyway, after I finished that "film", I began watching (at the recommendation of Netflix I might add) a film called Wal-Mart: The High Cost of Low Price.

And so began my spiral into this weird state of feeling utterly helpless.

The film contained exactly what you'd assume it would...

"Wal-Mart is driving out small business!"
"Wal-Mart is taking over small towns!"
"Wal-Mart is making Chinese/Bengali/Mexican/etc. people work seven days a week in inhumane factory conditions!"

You know, the usual bit of data that you can't help but feel terrible about, but have to pretty much ignore because ... what can you do?

It wasn't until I hit the part about the water pollution that it really started to sink in for me.

Side note: A NC Wal-Mart store was poisoning a river because it was stacking uncovered pallets of fertilizer in its parking lot. The drainage right by the pallets led directly into the river.

So here's the thing:

1. There are conservation regulations in place regarding this river in particular.
2. There is an organization that regularly patrols the river to make sure said regulations are being followed.
3. Said organization contacted Wal-Mart's corporate offices for weeks about said regulations being violated. Wal-Mart basically said "we don't have anyone whose job it is to care about that."
4. The problem wasn't alleviated until the local store manager saw a local news story that was run about the runoff. He consequently covered the pallets with tarps (yes, that's all that really needed to be done).

Okay, so that's a win, yeah?

Well, yeah I guess ... but there's so much more here that I'm getting pissed about.

Look, it's really easy to get mad at Wal-Mart stores who are coming into small towns and forcing their way into the community, effectively raping the local economy (watch the documentary). We can SEE that they are wrong because there is a very real action taking place that is cleeeeeeaaarrrly wrong.

This is different. This is oversight. This is pure idiocy on the part of a corporation because it is too huge to see something being done that is — though localized — highly important.

But what can you do? (fuck Joan Didion)

There was someone, multiple people even, who knew someone was calling in to get a problem taken care of, yet nobody did anything. Nobody contacted anyone about the issue. The attorneys did not return calls. They ignored it and hoped it would just take care of itself. I mean, buried behind enough red tape, anyone will eventually give up, right?

THAT is the philosophy of large corporations.

"We're big enough to not have to give a shit. Fuck you."

What makes it all the more ridiculous is that IT WORKED. Corporate Wal-Mart ended up having to do absolutely nothing about the issue at hand. The store manager just happened to watch the news at the right time and took action.

Was it just to save face in the PR arena? Or had he/she really just been that detached from the goings-on of the store that the calls that were undoubtedly made never found their way to the management?

Either way, the local Wal-Mart management isn't looking all that much better than the big-wigs at corporate.

But I'm getting really distracted here. I have a point, I promise.

Let's shift over to the video game industry. Mind you, I'm talking about AAA publishers here pretty much exclusively. Just saying.

(Thank you for reading that rant. You're a true friend.)

Sim fucking City. HO-LY SHIT. If you haven't been following the fiasco, educate yourself because the controversy surrounding its release has, to me, been one of the most telling events regarding contemporary video game publishing of all fucking time.

ALL. FUCKING. TIME.

And I'll substantiate this if for some godforsaken reason you are doubting the words that are flying into your retinas right now.

Assuming you have a moderate knowledge of the issue (or have at least read the articles linked above), I think you'd agree with me that EA truly screwed the pooch on this one. But I'm not arguing that. You know that, I know that, EA sure as shit knows that — but I digress. I'm here to talk about why the situation is so fucking grim for the two of us, friend.

And it is SO fucking grim.

Large, misguided video game publishers — hereby referred to as "EA and crew" or simply "EA" — are exhibiting the aforementioned Wal-Mart mindset (see, you should have read my rant). They don't care because they don't have to. They know you're going to continue buying their games regardless of how much you might be pissed off that you basically just bought the beta version of the game you wanted. EA got your $60 ... and the $20 for the additional content (available at launch, mind you) that would have been included on you CD-ROM 15 years ago for one simple payment.

The rest is superfluous.

EA and crew are too big to care that their "MMO" system was not integrated completely. Lucy Bradshaw isn't a developer. She doesn't NEED to know a server from a client. That's not her job. She, along with the rest of EA's corporate office, are there to make money.

BUT WAIT.

I'm not saying that with a clinched fist banging on a table and a scowl on my face. Truly. EA is a company and companies want to make money. That's kind of something you can't be mad about. I'm sure that Valve's equivalent of Miss Bradshaw also might not have all the details about the titles that he or she represents. Those execs are also out to make money.

What you CAN be mad about, is when those companies care more about their overall goal than the consumers that are anticipating their product. We have a right to be upset when they don't deliver or, as in this case, deliver something that should NEVER have been called a completed game. This happens because:

1. They're too big to notice.
2. They're too big to be held accountable (see "give a flying fuck").

And I'm going to supplement that ordered list by saying that only one of those two things are solely their fault.

Look, EA is huge and terribly misguided by greedy execs. That IS true, and that fact alone means that deadlines will be pushed and priorities will be shifted to create a product that makes the most possible profit (hence DRM, DLC, monthly subscriptions (Old Republic, I'm looking at you), etc.).

THIS is something that we consumers cannot help. We cannot change the way that EA conducts their business, plain and simple. We can hate it and we can complain, but, at the end of the day, EA has a right to make choices simply for the sake of making the most profit. When those choices create a flawed product — because they're too effing big to notice that there's any issue at all prior to launch — that sucks, but that's something nobody beyond EA's upper management can have a say in.

AND HERE IS WHY I'M PISSED...

Still sold 1.1 million copies in the first two weeks.

What we CAN do, is hold EA accountable for their choices. Yeah, it's great that Amazon's rating for Sim City (as of posting) is one and a half stars. It's great that everyone wrote those witty little reviews about the game that make it clear that EA did something retardedly selfish.

It's AWESOME that everyone realizes that EA is a bad, bad company. Really.

What's NOT awesome is that, statistically speaking, you ARE going to buy the next EA title that they hold a wide-release for. Even though you know they suck, you don't care because they hold the rights to an IP, or several IPs, that you really like.

I get it though, but what can you do, right?

To put it simply, DON'T FUCKING BUY THEIR GAMES.

I know you may really want to, but honestly it's not even worth it. I mean, I loved the Mass Effect franchise deeeearly. I played ME1 several times because it was a great game by a (at the time) great developer.

And yes, I bought ME3 when it came out. And guess what?

I still haven't completed it.

Why?

Because it made the franchise into a shell of what it once was. And that's what EA ends up doing to all of it's IP. It sucks out all of what makes it great in lieu of making a buck.

But making a buck it does. And it will continue making bucks. Many bucks.

And THAT, my friend, is why I'm pissed.

No matter what we do. Truly. You, me, the five people that read this post — no matter what — EA will continue selling shit to the masses who will undoubtedly shell out the money for it.

The internet loves to hate when it's a good time to hate, but that never lasts. You haven't heard anything about Sim City for a while have you?

Yeah. That's because there's nothing to hear.

But that must be because Sim City is better now, right?

LOL, child. No. The simple truth is that EA strangled the bad press and has now nearly-completely rewritten the history of Sim City.

Public opinion in a year:

"Sim City isn't that bad. It's actually pretty good."

The sad reality is that EA wins because we let them win. End of story. They have always won and will continue to win because people are shallow and opportunistic. Their next game will sell awesomely even after the disaster that was Sim City. By then, everyone will have forgotten. And, like I said, YOU will (statistically speaking) buy their next video game.

THAT is why I hate you (statistically speaking of course).